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This was... beautiful... Ramy, I wish that you find the love you've been looking for. And one day you will.

But perhaps you shouldn't put too much effort into it - and then you'll see that these things happen naturally more often than not.

I can't, Kollynn and that's the problem.

If I don't think about it so much, if I don't put much effort there, I am afraid I might end up killing myself!

It's the only thing that keeps me alive! Damn I am cursed! If I don't think about it, give it up (even knowing that giving it up is the only way to actually get it) the resulting depression could easily claim my life!

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